my parents.......

I am 27 years old. Often times I have wondered why my parents have done or said the things they did, a lot of people said I would understand when I had children. Although this is partially true, I think a lot of my understanding came by getting older and living my life.
My mom has always been a huge part of my life, whether I wanted to admit it or not. I have always wanted to make her proud of me, while I never felt I always accomplished this I know that my mom loves me like no one else. My mom and I are so much alike that I fear it makes us butt heads and at the same time being we are both stubborn has kept me from always being as close with her as I would like to be. One of my greatest fears is to run out of time to have the relationship I want with my mom. I try to do the right things but I know that sometimes I have unrealistic expectations being that I am grown and my mom has her own worries. I understand now that my mom has always done her best where I am concerned, even though it may not have always seemed that way. I love my mom more than anything and I think the reasons that I struggle with our relationship is because I always feel I fall short in being a daughter. They always say we are our worst critics and I have to say this is a situation where it holds true. I hope that when I am older my kids will look back at their childhoods and although they may not completely understand the why's to everything that they can be proud of me the way that I am proud of my mom.
As a child I had male role models and desperately wished for a father figure. I found him when I was 8 years old. He is a wonderful man taking on children that were not always kind or agreeable to him. In fact at times down right disrespectful little shits that I'm sure at times pushed him to the point of wanting to beat us. However he stuck with us through thick and thin. Showing me that someone of true worth stands by the things they believe in. I can only hope that my boys if ever placed in a situation like him can be the man he is, I have no worries about my boys as they have an excellent role model in their dad.
Together my mom and dad have taught me so many lessons to life and have made me a responsible, opinionated, loving person with good morals and respect for others. I love you mom and dad!

Day 2: My First Love

This post has come way later than the actual Day 2. I find I have put it off, mainly because I was not sure how to put feelings into words. I know when I was younger I would use the word love loosely, stating I loved famous boys my age, this continued even with people I met. I always heard growing up that kids were too young to know what love meant. This was definitely true for me, while I used love easily, I never truly understood the meaning of it.

Years later having a family of my own and a husband I adore, I finally understand this meaning. I can honestly say that My first true love has to be my husband. For me my definition of love is standing by someone no matter what, figuring out the difficult times and relishing the good times. Doing for someone things that you wouldn't do ordinarily or for just anyone. A person that you want to spend your time with and want to make happy. A person I can count and rely on. All of these things I have only felt for one person, he is still in my life and continues to be my knight in shining armor, even after some trying times.